Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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