Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
