My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
