i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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