Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
