In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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