The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
