do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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