i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
