I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize