3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
