somebody snuck up and got me drunk
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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