this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
