dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
