we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
