Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
