Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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