Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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