i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize