I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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