Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
