Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
