He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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