Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
