The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
