Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
