you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize