There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
