I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize