sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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