Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
