she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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