If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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