Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
