I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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