Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
