stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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