when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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