just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
