first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
