I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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