he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
