Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize