Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize