please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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