My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just gift wrapped bread.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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