You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
