i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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