We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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