Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
