Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
