Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
