She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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