Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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