You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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