I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
