we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize