guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
