Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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