I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
